My life is a mess


My cat died. I am getting audited for 2019 taxes. I am selling my house because my husband needs to pay off credit card debt. I am drinking way too much and eating crap to deal with my intense emotions around these things. I can’t sleep which makes everything worse. I know if I stop drinking wine I will be able to sleep better, but I can’t seem to stop.

I feel like everything is hitting me all at once. And I feel defeated. I am pissed at myself for choosing to drink and eat instead of rising to the occasion and taking control of my mind. I am scared that we are going to squander the large amount of money we are getting from our house sale. I am pissed at my husband for using credit cards to solve financial problems. I feel like the IRS is going to take all of my money. I am experiencing a lot of grief from my fury friend dying but I have no time to process it bc I am working on selling the house and getting IRS documents ready.
Now I’m in a dark hole where I can’t see the way out of my own grief, fear, and suffering.

I feel like a victim and yet I blame myself for not having it together with my taxes…My brain can’t make a decision about how to help myself…. I feel a brick wall any time I try to make a decision. I don’t trust myself.

I need help and I don’t know where to turn.