My life needs to be better now.

Today I want to address frustration. Here’s the model I am working on.

C: My life
T: Life should be better…like yesterday (particularly in regards to having more money. More money will solve all my current big problems. Kids education, house of our own, provide for ourselves, kids health issues, cars, being self-sufficient).
F: Frustrated
A: Blame husband, kids, God, church, patriarchy, me, etc. Compare my life with the life I want. Don’t enjoy my husband, kids, or life. Push them out of the way.
R: ???

When I go to type in the R line “life isn’t better right now,” I feel a disconnect. My brain REALLY wants to blame someone else for how my life is. And doesn’t want to take full ownership. It feeds me thoughts like (if I was single with no kids then I could have the life I want). The thing is I want a husband and kids my brain just views them as in the way of having the life I want. Maybe my model should look something like.

C: Life
T: Husband and kids are in the way of me having the life I want. (Life I want=more money to get my kids better schooling, travel with family, get aways with husband, etc)
F: Frustrated
A: Hurry and “be” with them, take care of them, so I can move on to the life I want. Ignore them.
R: ??? I’m in my own way of having the life I want??? (My brain doesn’t see the truth of this statement if it is true).

I feel resistance to put anything in this R line. Brain doesn’t want anything there. Like it doesn’t want to take ownership of my life results.

Help me get a handle on this please!