My mother oppresses me

My mother is a woman in distress for 50 years who complains all the time. She judges everyone, talks about her painful past all the time. She lives alone and would like to see me all the time and blames me for it by trying to make me feel guilty.
But I have my family and I don’t want to spend time with them because they pump up all my energy. It’s oppressive; I would like to accept her as she is but I realize that to accept her, I would like her to be different. I do not know how to accept her and like her and at the same time to not support her negative speech but it seems to me incompatible.