My need to control


My 6 year old daughter has long-term constipation. She does not want to take medication. Now the “OK” routine is passing motion every 2 days. She still has to struggle a bit but she can live with it and I can live with it.

She was supposed to have motion yesterday but she didn’t. So today is day 3.
This morning she woke up early, at 545, and there is time for her to try to pass motion before school but she does not want to.

C- daughter said “I don’t think I can do a poo”
T-
F- Furious (vibration is: head is going to explode feeling)
A- I want to say in an angry way “do you want me to put suppositories?!!!”. I want to say “go on the toilet anyway, you are so useless, you will suffer and cannot poo this afternoon”. I am gritting my teeth and biting my lips. (I didn’t say any of those, but those words are running in my head). I am on my computer typing all these. My daughter came to ask me get a toy and I am giving her the cold shoulder. I did get the toy but I am still seething.
R-

That’s what I can fill in at the moment. I can feel the feeling and my reaction. Accessing the thought that caused the feeling is a bit elusive at the moment.
Just did a quick mindfulness and self-compassion and I am calmer.

OK – let’s try this. What is the thought
T- Daughter is not following my manual that she has to obey me.

And actually with the force I was planning to do, the R – would be daughter will not obey me.
Who will want to be coerced into doing something anyway.