My Next Phase of Self-Coaching Practice


I went to see a doctor who did a blood test and weighed me and told me I am overweight and that “this is a problem.”
He stated the medical facts of my blood work, and that my being 40 pounds overweight scientifically creates a problematic situation for me in terms of diseases risks and premature death.
So, if I understand correctly, I get to put that in the C line because scientifically it has been proven that people who has certain blood tests like mine and are carrying extra weight like me have a problem.
Of course, as a scholar I know that it’s only a problem if I prefer not to have diseases or die prematurely, but at any case, I actually want to lose these 40 pounds and also would like to stop desiring flour and sugar so badly as I desire them today.
They basically run my day because that’s mostly what my brain thinks about – where to get the next fix.

So, I sat myself down to a self-coaching session and thought about the repetitive thoughts sequence that I have every single morning:

Lower Brain: “I want to eat that.”
Me: “But I said I wouldn’t eat that anymore.”
Lower Brain: “Ufff… but I want to eat that.”
Me: “But you’re not supposed to.”
Lower Brain: “But I still wanna. Maybe we’ll start tomorrow? It won’t change much.”
Me: “You say that everyday. No, we’re starting today.”
Lower Brain: “But can’t you feel this huge disappointment and deprivation now? You want to feel that all day? Let’s go and eat that. We’ll start tomorrow.”
Me: “You’re right, okay.”

So this thoughts sequence causes me to have this emotional roller-coaster of: Desire – Deprivation – Desire – Disappointment – Desire – Relief.

And if I didn’t have all this sequence of thoughts and emotions, I wouldn’t have the above medical problem.
There are other people who wake up in the morning and they don’t have this track playing and they don’t need to feel unwanted desire, argue with it, reason with it, allow it, or reward it.

But then I’m thinking, “Well, good for them. I am not one of them. I have a brain that learned to desire these foods a lot and it does want them and so this thought sequence is my Circumstance. It is the truth of where my life is now.”

And when I look back at each time I complied with my lower brain and rewarded its desire, it was because I thought in the moment that the deprivation and disappointment are too unpleasant for me to endure and that I have to fix them and make them go away.

If I read it correctly, where I’m at with this self-coaching skill is that I am aware of my thoughts.
I am aware of the feelings they generate for me.
I am aware that I am not good at allowing these unpleasant feelings.
And that what I am good at is fixing those unpleasant feelings as soon as possible.

I suspect that this morning conversation I have between myself and my lower brain is also not useful. My brain opposes my arguments and it feels as if it is been punished.
What’s my next phase in this process, please and what a better conversation I might have with the morning thought sequence?