My period pain is getting worse


I am a gynecologist who has done ultrasounds and smears regularly. Everything looks normal regularly. Yet my period pain gets worse every month. Actually, it’s the same every month but I really want to hide on those 2 days. I don’t want to do any work in that period.

It starts with constant negative emotions for almost a day and then it all makes sense when the period comes. I want to say that the emotional pain makes it worse, but I think the cramps get worse in some parts of the day. I take painkillers sparingly as it interferes with my food and I have no appetite to eat them. So I don’t take painkillers. Sometimes I take them and still the pain doesn’t seem to go away.

I am doing the same model of “I can’t handle this” feeling helpless, don’t call in sick, continuing doing everything as planned, resisting wanting to do anything, don’t practice compassion from self, expecting everyone just back off from me and that results in “I don’t figure out a way to handle this monthly recurrent problem”.

I wish I could handle this reoccurrence with grace. The pain somehow blocks me. Allowing this pain doesn’t make any sense to me as it keeps coming back in surges.