My purpose in life is…

to live a mindblowing existence. And in doing my homework tonight, I realized that my nightly anxiety (of losing it all and going broke) got dealt with in a matter of moments. My anxiety, which I have lived with since basically having memories, came, got felt, and went.

And that is mind blowing to me.

I am not my mother, my grandmother, my aunt. I am not torn apart from anxiety. I can teach these skills to my kids. I feel like a family curse has been broken and I could weep with gratitude for finding SCS and implementing the tools in my life.

And for anyone else reading, I basically closed my eyes, felt where the anxiety was washing over me in my body, really felt it and stayed with it. I saw the urge to check my phone, think about work, think about recording a lullaby for my kids and I just stayed with the heat and the buzz in my neck and forehead. And I invited my anxiety in for tea and talked to it (it is a green gaseous mass, not scary, but there). I did a model explaining that it was from a thought in my head. And then it all disappeared. It’ll come back. But, I can deal with it. I want to shout it from the rooftops. But I think instead, I’ll look forward to coach training in Oct and figure out how I am going to move forward to blow my own mind. Again and again and again.
Peace be upon you my friend.