My relationships

I’ve done a lot of work on my relationships with other people and there is a very clear trend and I don’t know the best way to handle it. My story is that the people in my life all use me as a resource and rarely express interest in me or my life. I can put some facts on it. I have a friend who will call and the minute I answer he will say hey and then unload it all – work, home stuff, stuff he’s stressed about over and over and over for 8 solid minutes without even asking if I have time to talk or how I’m doing. It’s crazy. There are times that I will mute the phone and groan loudly because it feels for f—- intrusive and almost like assault. Lol I know that sounds super dramatic but that is really how it feels in the moment. I’ve gotten better at not answering the phone unless I’m in a headspace where I can take it all in. I know that I cannot control his behavior and the he is who he is, so I just assume that if he calls it’s going to be massive unloading of his problems with little to no attention put on me or what’s going on in my life.

But this type of thing happens with SEVERAL people in my life. Niece that only responds to my text several days if not weeks later but only attached with something she needs or wants from me. Of the 6 closest relationships, there is one that will actually allow me to talk openly about what is going on in my life and I feel bad because I do the same to her and just dump it all out on her. Ugh.

People get to be who they are, I’m good with that. So is the point that I just have to find a way to make it neutral that people closest to me usually don’t have the time/energy/mental fortitude to allow room for me and my life relationship?

My brain is screaming to just pump the brakes altogether and distance myself from everyone, but I know that will lead to isolation, and that won’t feel good either.