My sister


Hi Brooke,
I have struggled with my relationship with my older sister all my life, and this year, decided I didn’t want to have her in my life any more and we have had no contact since mid year. Long, long story, but the last straw for me was her verbal abuse of my husband and physically pushing him through a door – she abuses people regularly and cannot control her emotions. She’s done this to me so many times, and I have forgiven and tried to help her (she has addictions), but I just couldn’t stand the way she treated my husband. In my view, she has emotionally and financially abused our mother for many years – she lives with her. Her constant drama has so impacted my life I just don’t want it any more! I know this is about my thoughts and not her behaviour – in theory.
Anyhow, we are in the same profession and she pops up in my social media feed quite often (although I have muted her). Some people think she is just wonderful and if I’m honest I resent it and wish she’d disappear. I dwell on it far too much, and I know it does not serve me. How do I handle this? I have tried a couple of models that really don’t work – the result does not confirm the thought!
This was my intentional model –
C: Sister
T: She is damaged and it’s fine if we’re in the same profession.
F: Calmer
A: get on with my own life, don’t think about her.
R: achieve in my own life without losing so much time in resentment and anger!

I know this doesn’t work, so help appreciated!