My son has eliminated me from his life.


My 37-year-old alcoholic son eliminated me from his life several months ago for reasons I can only guess. I spent years and tens of thousands of dollars trying to help him get clean and get his life on track. He met a woman 3 years ago whom he ended up marrying. She has become his new mommy. He still sits on the couch, drinking, smoking and playing video games… while she works and supports him. She does EVERYTHING….just like I used to.

I had finally gotten to a place of peace in this situation a few months ago. After all, I would rather be in THIS place (I tell myself) than in the place I used to be with him…overwhelmed, trapped, frustrated and drained on every level.

He has not seen his father (my ex) for 20 years.

They just had a baby yesterday. This has spun me back into sadness and despair. The mother of my 9-year-old granddaughter (his ex) told me the baby was born yesterday. She was shocked I was not at the hospital in all the happy photos. She said I am the best mother and grandmother EVER and how dare they not include me.

UM
C: Bryan has a new baby girl
T: I am not involved for reasons I do not understand
F: Devastated
A: Trying to make sense of it. To understand why…AGAIN.
R: Spinning thoughts…no resolution or understanding.

There is no upside to this. I cannot do an intentional model. I don’t know what to do. 🙁