I recently moved out of my parent’s home with one of my best friends who is a little more financially stable than I am. After college, I went the route of entrepreneurship, going to a life coach school, investing in myself with coaches, and working as little jobs as possible. He went more the route of finding a job with his degree and creating financial freedom eventually from his job is his goal. Both routes are amazing! In my case, I was still living with my parents and he lives on his own.
He told me he was struggling with his weight and confidence (perfect job for a life coach) so I made him an offer to be his live-in life coach in exchange for living with him rent-free. I have been living with him for about 1.5 weeks and it is going AMAZINGLY so far. I just noticed a trigger point within me.
Oftentimes he asks me for help doing something around the apartment which is fine, yet I notice I start resenting him randomly. I think a few things could be going on. I admire his ability to ask for what he wants and set boundaries and some part of me wishes I could be the same way. AND/OR It’s proving my fear right: “He’s gonna make me his assistant and he’s gonna have power over me.”
I am taking full responsibility here. I can see my thoughts are causing the resentment completely. In my thought download though I noticed an interesting pattern:
– I hate being in a position lower than someone elsewhere they have power over me.
– I hate living with my parents cause they have power over me.
– I hate that my roommate/client has power over me in this situation.
– I hate having a boss. (Big reason why I have decided not to work and focus more on my business)
– I hate not being able to defend myself at work if a customer disrespects me.
There is a pattern here of really resenting and hating authority. In these circumstances, I feel like there are consequences if I share how I feel when someone crosses the line, but I don’t feel safe to do it. This is why I avoid jobs like the PLAGUE because I know I will quit on the SPOT if someone disrespects me at work.
I’m not 100000% sure what “actions” I want to be taking instead .. but perhaps if I felt like I needed to get a part-time job while I continue building .. I want to be okay with it .. I want to be able to handle confrontation in a way that I do not lie to keep my job, I want to be able to defend myself in a way that won’t get me fired.
On another topic .. part of me is wondering if me even getting a job is a distraction from the thought work of my business. But I’ll stick to one topic in this case.
I want to be better at managing resentment/confrontation and I also want to know how to set boundaries. Every time I try and set a boundary I second guess myself if I’m overreacting.