I know that it’s my thoughts, but… My thoughts about mom drive me crazy. Here is what I am aware of thinking, “Everything she does is wrong. (I know it’s not everything and it’s not all wrong, but…). She can be irresponsible and do not very smart things.” For example, I schedule a doctor’s appointment for her and she got the time wrong and was late. I was mad at her and felt embarrassed for her. I know that she is responsible in most situations, but my thoughts are, “How can one mess up things like that? You have to be slow or irresponsible to do something like that. A person is waiting for you…” etc. I understand that those are my own standards and rules (what you, guys, call, “manual”), but I am still judging her and get mad at her every time when she does not follow them. I feel like she is sometimes like a child and, of course, I act like a child with her sometimes as a result.
I don’t like judging her and feeling angry, but can’t think of good thoughts to think that are believable and would help e feel loving, understanding, and patient with her.