My toddler doesn’t want me


We have family in town for the holidays, which my toddler absolutely loves, so much so that she tells me “I want ___ instead of you mama.”

I adore her connection to others and I’m proud to have raised a kiddo who loves her family so much. I want her to spend time with them since they aren’t here often and I feel completely loved by her. The problem, of course, isn’t what she said, it’s my thoughts. Particularly the thought – she only spends time with me because she doesn’t have any other option.

Which I know isn’t true, or based on any facts, on the contrary there is so much proof of the opposite. I know she adores me. I feel completely loved.

Could you help me with how I can best transition from my current model to my desired model?

C – My toddler said “I want ___ instead of you mama.”
T – she only spends time with me because she doesn’t have any other option
F – Self pity
A – Telling her “it’s not an either or, you can want family and mama.” Telling myself “We want to spend time together AND spend time with others, there is enough love and time for everyone,” the last two times I also told my husband what I was working on. Self coaching and sitting with my feelings until the pity passes.
R – Dreading family get togethers with my kid.

C – My toddler said “I want ___ instead of you mama.”
T – “We want to spend time together AND spend time with others, there is enough love and time for everyone.”
F – Love
A – Telling her “it’s not an either or, you can want family and mama.” Being fully present with my family. Taking photos. Making more family plans. Looking forward to the next time we have family time.
R – Enjoying family get-togethers with my kid.