My Weight

My weight currently is 145#. My ideal weight is 142#. I have a normal BMI now and have gone up and down around 15# three times in the past two years. I use intermittent fasting and try to use the hunger scale. I mostly avoid snacking. I have used weight watchers and Noom in the past and have lost weight with both.

I overeat sometimes. I like to consume. I love the experience of food! I love cooking! Sometimes I think the next bite will be better and so I keep searching for the perfect bite of food.

So here’s my model:

-I weigh 145#
-My weight fluctuates day to day
-I eat food.
-I’m not good at maintaining my weight
-If I choose to overeat and over-consume sometimes, I’ll fuck up everything I’ve worked for
-I’ll never be able to reach my goal weight and stay there (even though I maintain my weight currently and have for the past 6 months)
-This won’t last long; I’ll be fat again soon
-I feel inadequate
-I feel shame for not knowing how to manage my weight
-I feel worried that all my weight will come back
-I feel angry
– I feel disappointed in myself and wonder why I can’t just get this figured out
-I yell at my kids
-I get snappy with others
-I avoid putting on slim pants
-I stress over what I look like
-I think about food a lot
– I miss the present moment
-I spend a lot of mind drama worrying about my weight
-I judge my body and fail to recognize and honor the progress I’ve made over the past few years

Thank you for your assistance.