Navigating the River of Misery through Quarter 2 of 25 Fails for Impossible Goal —can I get some cheese for all my WHINE?

I need some coaching please to move into Q2 for my next 25 fails. As part of my Impossible Goal for 2018, it is now just about Quarter 2 and time for the next list of 25 new fails. I’m hemming and hawing over “having ” to do ANOTHER LIST. Q1 kicked my ass –both in terms of failing hard at some of my 25 fails through “active” failing in that I went for it/ made the ask, etc…and got lots of No, Silence,etc. In other words, I got me some significant “rejection” that has me going to a place where I’m licking my wounds.. the narrative goes along something of “oh, you shouldn’t have tried, they didn’t think you were worth’re not good enough..see? better to stay in the cave…blah blah blah”. Super non helpful thoughts that serve me in no way other than to help my cave brain feel better to retreat. But a little voice inside is saying “you just keep at it, sister, you’ve got this and you are failing your way to success. It doesn’t work, until it does…” . What I want is to avoid negative emotion. To also avoid the thoughts that tell me that this fear, anxiety, etc is a signal to stop and just pack up back to what I call “pre SCS land. ” Trouble is, now I can’t –or, of course, won’t. It feels like there’s no turning back and the only way over is ‘through’. I just can’t go “back there” to waiting and hoping for things to just flow down the river and to also only accept and engage with whatever flows down the river. I’m not used to getting out there to “shake the tree”. Hence, I’m staring at my paper entitled “Q2 25 Fails” . It’s staring back. I’m also peering at the Q1 25 fails that I didn’t do –didn’t try, and therefore, they are still there. So in addition to beating myself up for not even trying, I now wonder “hey, do I add those to my Q2 list –in addition to the new ones? ” Which increases pressure on me to not mess up Q2. (says my cave brain)

My brain wants to find another way. Another way that does not have me swimming in the river of misery of cognitive dissonance where I’m seeing these new tributaries of possibility carving their way into the deeply entrenched earlier thoughts of “you missed it! Give up and go home! ”

Guidance, thoughts? advice? Cheese plate for all that whine? 🙂 Thank you as always –