Need help not making BF’s sleep issues about me

Working on being content with not seeing my BF every weekend and with him overcoming his issues without letting them affect me. We broke up for a month and half then went a month without seeing each other because of COVID so I’m very capable of not seeing him every weekend and being content around doing my own thing.

However, tonight I told him I may be able to visit him this weekend (we don’t live near each other) and to let me know if that’s something he wants. He has sleep issues that he has been working on. Seeking feedback on my models.  I also have been very tired myself and could use a break from driving to see him.  However, I find joy in being with him and am willing to make the sacrifice.

Thought Download
1. Why can’t he just work on his sleep during the week?
2. Our time together is limited enough as it is.
3. He’s been dealing with his sleep issues for awhile – can’t he just get it together already?
4. I don’t understand why he has such sleep issues but want to be more understanding and patient.
5. I love him and want him to feel better.
6. When he feels better he will have more energy to have more sex (so he says).
7. The doctor told him if he loses weight, eats healthier and wears his sleep apena mask every night, over time he will sleep better and feel better but he’s not doing all these things.
8. I know I can’t control his actions and am trying to be empathetic of his situation and not let his sleep issues affect me but I don’t understand why he does not just listen to the doctor.
9. Being at his place now is an escape from my apartment.
10. It feels good to get out of town.
11. I feel like I’m on vacation when I see him and don’t have any responsibilities.
12. I have a hard time relaxing when I’m home alone but no issue relaxing with him.
13. I love being with him.
14. I miss him when I’m not with him.
15. I want to see him every weekend and more if possible.
16. If I could just manage my mind better and focus on myself more I may not miss him as much and feel the need to see him as much.
17. It makes me sad to see him being so tired all the time.
18. Not sleeping well can really suck the life out of a person.
19. Him wanting to work on his sleep or not see me one weekend does not mean he loves me any less.
20. I can feel confident in our relationship knowing that we can still have a great relationship even if we can’t be together in person.

C boyfriend said he may not be able to hang out this weekend
T he can suck up his sleep issues on the weekend to make time for me
F annoyed
A do a thought download,
R I learn why I’m feeling this way


C boyfriend said he may not be able to hang out this weekend
T I’ll get extra time to focus on my individual hobbies (that thought does not make me feel peaceful though so second thought option but I don’t think it should be about him, correct? 2. I love and respect this man so much or 3. His sleep issues don’t make him love me any less – as you can see, I’m having conflicting thoughts here.)
F peaceful
A do my hobbies
R I learn something new