Need help on model

Hi Brooke, my name is Kathleen I joined scholars because listening to your pod cast made me relize Im blaming my husband and circumstances for my thoughts. The thoughts are interfering with my life in different areas. I avoid movies, dont enjoy the beach, and dont enjoy my vacations. So my model is c-movies with nudity in them t-what is my husband thinking about the woman f-upset a-shut down get upset with husband r-dont like watching movies with nudity. So do I watch movies and when a part that is upsetting do I just have a different thought, like my husband thinks im sexy. Not sure how that works. Because im always comparing my self to other woman. I want to feel better about myself and not have those thoughts beacause I feel like im waisting years of my life worring. Thanks