Need help with sentence on purpose

It was so liberating to know that nothing matters, that its all for fun, and to loose this mother teresa expectation we place on our lives. It helped me get honest about what it is I feel like I’m wired for, what I want to do…and I came up with some thoughts and feelings but having trouble distilling into purpose and wanting feedback.

Aa painter, for me that’s about being in a body and experiencing what I see via the sense of touch, an internal/external exploration, I want to touch the color, to have this real, tangible experience of what I see, and the pure joy that brings…I also trail run, and am into distance running, wether its getting into a kind of meditative trance or feeling the effects of negative thinking and having a crappy run, I’m fascinated by all body mind connection and seeing that/ playing with that immediately in running. I’m constantly jumping on opportunities that are both physical and mental experiences. I teach drawing as well, and the focus of my class seems to always come back to whats going on in the mind and how that comes out on the paper. I am fascinated on what it is to be in a body and on this planet and having these experiences. Its this thread that lights me up and runs through everything I do.
Why: To have this experience of fully living, fully experiencing, doing those activities that make time expand, bring feelings of love and contentment. It means that this being that was so intensely desiring this human experience got to do those things it so deeply desired to do.
Some sentences I came up with are: I want to deeply explore this embodied experience.
I want to explore the body/ mind/ environment connection