Need help to change my past.

Dear Coaches,

I am doing the How to Change Your Past workbook and I’m trying to figure out how this works:

There is an event in my childhood, that I picked to work on in the first week. The event itself is not causing me pain anymore (since it is over). What causes my problems is the way I reacted to it as a 3-year-old. I developed some patterns of behavior to handle the consequences of this event on me, and I still act from this place now as an adult – that is causing me trouble. They are mostly self punishing, self rejecting and being hard against myself. So there is no responsibility I can take, since I always thought, I was responsible for the situation. Like a child that is abused thinks, that it is her fault, that this happens to her. So I am confused and don`t know, how to go through the steps: Because the fact, that my parents did or did not show up in a certain way is not the problem. The problem is my reaction to it. How can I take responsibility in a healthy way? Or how do I have to approach that?

Thanks for your help in advance.