Need to model?


Is it necessary to always model a thought that you’ve uncovered? I was trying to run a model and kept getting stuck but with further digging it became obvious of what I was struggling with.  I became aware that I was worried about my daughter gaining “too much” weight during her pregnancy because I didn’t want her to beat herself up or shame herself like I had done after my 1st pregnancy. It wasn’t her weight gain that was the issue but more of me trying to “save her” from any potential future pain/shame/regret she may herself face (because I myself felt that way about my pregnancy I assumed if she did pregnancy like I did she too would feel shame/regret).  Once I became conscious of what I was doing I didn’t feel like I needed to model that but just be aware of what I was thinking.

Of course the awareness around my own shame and regret regarding how “I did pregnancy wrong” is something I still feel needs some work.
Through learning this work it has become so clear to me how much time and energy I invest in trying to manipulate life to prevent my children (who are not children anymore but adults) from any negative emotions. I am slowly learning that negative does not always equate to bad or something has gone wrong.  Thanks in advance for these amazing tools.