Negative Boyfriend, part 2

Hi Brooke,

You asked me to think about what I make these thoughts mean. I’ve thought about it:
“I don’t want to be in an intimate relationship with a negative person” – It means I want my partner to be interested in personal growth and mental health and take responsibility for his own emotions and his life. But I hear you say that’s a manual for how others should behave and it’s never going to work.
“I don’t want to abandon him because he is depressed and complains” – It means I love him and want to help him get over this thought loop. Again, manual for how others should behave.

I like my reasons except I know I cannot hand someone a manual and expect them to follow! What should I do? How should I think about it?