Negative Thoughts About a Past Friend/Colleague


I am really struggling with my thoughts and feeling about a situation with a woman that I collaborate with in my business (network marketing) and used to be a very close friend.

She was like a family member for 2 years and spent lots of free time having meals with my family, etc. Since the fall, the relationship was deteriorating and I had no idea why. At a few conferences (October and December) I knew for sure that something was wrong. After the December conference, my mentor spoke to her and confirmed that she felt I’d stolen a client from her (absolutely untrue) and would not be friends with me. We eventually had a call and she would not admit she’d said that and we left it that we would maintain a professional relationship.

I feel many negative emotions towards her and really wish to move past this. When I see her in our social media groups it brings up bitterness and anger. I will see her again in person in a few months at the next conference and I dread it. I want to change my thoughts now so that I don’t waste my energy on this anymore and once I see her I am at the minimum neutral.

I’ve done models on the situation for months and it’s helped but I am obviously not there yet. Please let me know if you have any feedback on the situation and the models below.

Unintentional Model
C the ex friend
T she has rejected and lied about me
F angry
A try to avoid her as much as possible but it’s impossible
R increase anxiety about the situation

Intentional Model
C the ex friend
T she will and can say what she wants about me
F neutral
A interact with her professionally
R no increased anxiety

Thank you!