Negative thoughts about my husband’s diet


My husband is following a low-fat low-protein low-calorie diet and has been for the last 10 years. He was on it when we met, I wasn’t. At one point I tried to adopt his diet and eventually had health problems and started adding back in more fat and calories. He is obsessed over his style of eating, listens to podcasts all day about it, and makes comments about how it’s the only way to protect yourself from heart disease and other ailments. I do my best to not take it personally, but I have had health problems recently and he’s made a lot of comments. Today I found out a friend of mine had a stroke, and he said, “and you ask me why I eat the way I do? Because I won’t have a stroke like your friend. Strokes are 100% preventable, but people insist on giving themselves diseases and burdening others with their disabilities because they refuse to change the way they eat and stick with it.” I got fed up and said, “would you like me to leave so you’re not stuck with my disability when it inevitably happens?” He said no, that wasn’t what he meant.

I think it would be stupid to leave someone over a diet but… I think about it a lot. I know I can’t control or change his diet, even though I’m concerned about him not eating enough and being very skinny, cold and tired. I know I can’t control him talking about it all the time, or get him to shut off the damn podcasts. But I would like him to stop insinuating that I’m inviting heart disease and death into my life on a daily basis or that my friends are having strokes on purpose. How do I change my thinking so that this doesn’t piss me off? If he shuts up about food and disease he can actually be a really fun person… I’m just not sure how not to get sucked in to all the disease discussions and start questioning my ability to decide based on my own intuition how to best take care of my body.