Negative thoughts after a client session- battles in my head.

Hi, could I please have some feedback. I am a new coach, doing the CCP. I had my first 45 minute session with a practice client yesterday. I didn’t think it went well, and had a ‘shitstorm’ of negative thoughts in my head. I am giving one example here, I chose a very ‘toned down’ thought, there were many that had far more drama to them, like “It was a disaster”, I am useless, and so on. I had negative thoughts about the client too. I won’t list all the thoughts, I definitely felt resistant to them all though. Maybe this is the bigger problem. I will show two models as examples, anyway.

C Right after client session.
T I didn’t coach adequately.
F Disappointed.
A Fill out several models on my negative thoughts.
R Didn’t make much change. Felt a bit more ‘neutral’ but not much better. Kept thinking the more ‘dramatic thoughts’.

C After a session
T I was shit.
F Useless.
A Doing models. The ‘negative shitstorm’ keeps going in my head.
R Didn’t create much change.

C After a session.
T The client’s thoughts are so entrenched.
F Powerless
A Do models.
R Feel a bit better as I was able to come up with the thought – This client is capable of change. This is the perfect client for me to learn.

I know my thoughts are optional. I know they are just thoughts. But in the moment, I found it very, very hard to really ‘live and breathe’ that truth, if that makes sense. It felt like two opposites fighting inside of me. One saying ‘you are no good’ the other saying ‘come on, that’s just a thought.’

Thank you.