My neighbors have a fireplace that creates thick smelly smoke which gathers on my front porch and gets into my home even with all of our doors and windows closed. They like to have the fireplace going all the time as soon as the weather starts to get even slightly cold. It’s not cold at all, it’s 75 degrees at this moment, but this is Southern Arizona so usually it’s hot. I guess they think 75 in the evening is cold and the fireplace needs to be going. Anyway …. this annoys me so much! I hate the smell and the way it burns my throat. And I hate having my house closed up instead of being able to enjoy the nice cool fresh air. I also recognize they have a right to enjoy their fireplace however they want. I’m trying to do models on this to feel better and all I’m doing is getting more irritated so I thought I’d ask for help.
The interesting note here is I have definitely found absolute proof this is a neutral circumstance because my husband is not bothered whatsoever! It reminds him of a campfire and he likes it. I tried that thought and discarded it because I’m choosing to think it’s not fair I have to put up with something I dislike just because they like it. Ugh.
C = I smell smoke coming from the neighbors fireplace even though my doors and windows are closed.
T = I hate this, it isn’t fair.
F = anger
A = complain and try to think up ways to seal the house better (husband says there’s nothing more he can do)
R = spend all night dwelling on this and being upset instead of enjoying my evening
I’m having difficulty coming up with a Thought for my intentional model. (My husband’s “This is like camping!” didn’t work for me…). So I decided to start with the Result I would like to have and work backwards to figure out what Action, Feeling and Thought I need to achieve it. I’m still stuck.
The Result I would like to have is to enjoy my evening without complaining about the situation and stop thinking about it.
Can you please help? I know you don’t coach on the A line, but do you have Thought suggestions?
I’m realizing after typing this all out that another feeling I’m having is helplessness. There’s nothing I can do. I have to put up with it.
I’m literally going in circles now… Thanks!