Neutral Circumstances

How do you really know if you are truly viewing a circumstance as neutral? Im trying to separate out my T and Cs in my childhood. I think I’m at the point in my life and from doing this work especially this month that I Intellectually know they are. Actually I know that this is exactly how my life should of played out to be exactly who I am today… but when every day it’s asked what the negative circumstances of my life are it will be those “5” same things. If I view them as negative, doesn’t that indicate I am still not seeing this as neutral. And is that the goal? And when I separate it out I know and see it that it is in fact neutral. This is mostly old circumstances that are not even currently in my life and I just want to write a new storyline. I know I can rewrite that any way I want but how do I know when I am actually believing it. Results right? I don’t think I’m acting out from this way but hmmm maybe I am and totally unconscious of it right now. Thoughts on this?