Neutral model on a relationship

As a podcast listener and now Scholar, and with support from a coach friend, I am finding freedom from depression, anxiety and negativity. Understanding the Model helps me see how it created all results in my life. It’s been a tremendous gift, and I’m so grateful for Brooke and her teaching and the people she has inspired who are helping me. I didn’t know that I had Models (and Manuals!), and I thought my actions/behavior were driving feelings. I am curious about my old model because as I learn to create new ones, I am observing new results.

This old model is pre-SCS and podcast — it’s what was going on the last couple of years.
Old Circumstance: My business partner talks about problems with people.
Intentional old thought: I am setting a boundary as not to bond over drama or negativity.
Old feelings: Distant, independent, selectively compassionate,
Old Actions: Ask questions in a different way, give attention to positive aspects of a situation, not take the “bait” to ruminate; acknowledge situation without perpetuating feeling
Old Result: I am no longer a sponge to soak up negativity.

I’m not sure that unintentional model served me all the time but it got me here.

But sometimes, my thoughts go wild. I can’t find the neutral, the circumstance in this relationship.

I’m here with a New Model in this particular relationship:

New Circumstance: A person talks.
New Thought: I have sentences in my head.
New feeling: Distant, calm
New Actions: Say nothing. Don’t engage with follow up questions. Offer observation about the sentences: “Looks like the situation is exactly what everyone involved created.” or “Why do you think we can control how the client feels about the situation? It’s not up to us.”
New Result: I am creating distance in this relationship and becoming the next version of me. (Today, I think she cried after this Model played out.)

My desired R line seems almost like a fantasy: The people I spend the most time with in business and life bring positivity, opportunity and joy to our relationship. Our mindsets and attitudes are a foundation for our relationships, our mental health and our prosperity.

What are some good questions to ask myself as I create new models?