Hi Brooke –

I’ve been using the model successfully for many circumstances the last couple of months, but I can’t get a handle on how to work through this issue.

Background – We live in a cottage on a lake and enjoy hearing the waves, the breeze through the trees and birds. It’s very close to nature and very calming. Friends that we socialize with moved to the cottage right next to us and have placed their hot tub, that runs 24 hours a day, near our cottages on the lake front. We asked if they could possibly put it out back, but they said no.

C – We can hear the hot tub when our windows are closed and even when our TV is on.

T – The sound of the hot tub overrides our quiet, hearing nature sounds and invades our home.

F – Upset that our way of life has been forced to change. (I live here because I can soak up the nature, stillness and calmness.) I like quiet and don’t want to hear loud motors running constantly. We’ve been here for 11 years.

A – Withdrawing from friendship and worrying about how this will affect my happiness and overall mental health.

R – Wear headphones constantly?
Move? (We’ve invested a lot to be here and love our home.)
We can’t open the windows because the sounds will be louder.

Note – the hot tub is also in the view of my home office, so now I have to look at it all day long vs. the trees and lake view I had before. Which I’ve come to terms with (it’s their yard) more than having to listen to it.

New Model – but this isn’t any where near reality!

C – We can hear the hot tub when our windows are closed and even when our TV is on.

T – My home and surroundings are peaceful and calm. (I used to think this.)

F – Relaxed, grateful

A – Enjoying life and living as usual – appreciating where we are

R – Good Mental Health, Keep Cottage, Keep Friends

OR the reality

C – We can hear the hot tub when our windows are closed and even when our TV is on.

T – I don’t like the noise that has been added to our living conditions.

F – aggravated, sad, disappointed in friends, great feeling of loss for the peace we used to have

A – ?? What action should I take? What choices do I have short of moving? (We’re supposed to retire here.)

R – Home is not a sanctuary now.

I’ve been trying to find better results and thoughts and feelings, but every direction I try doesn’t change how I feel about the noise we’re forced to listen to.

Thank you for your help.