I just started seeing a new guy and discovered that since I really like him my manual for him is double size of usual, since I feel more vulnerable than usual.
My manual includes “he should make me his priority, he should be proactive about making plans & he should be thrilled about this relationship”. On intellectual level I understand that he is adult and gets to do whatever he wants to, and that it’s not his actions that make me feel disappointed, it’s my thoughts.
Here is a model I’m working on:
C: Cancelled plans on short notice
T: I’m not a priority for him
F: rejected, irrateted, disappointed
A: being distant
R: more distance between us
I’ve tried replacing “C: Cancelled plans on short notice “Cancelled plans on short notice and it’s okay” but it’s still leaves me feeling resentful and distant.
I need help coming up with a better thought if I want to feel open and excited.
Thank you-thank you!