I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of times and it’s been really lovely. On Friday we met up and we had a nice dinner and movie night. I tried to call him on Sunday and he was busy and said we would call me on Monday. I send him a message this morning and he hasn’t replied to me all day or has called. It’s now 10pm. All day I’ve been checking my phone to see if he would message or call me and I’ve been really anxious.
Thoughts are why hasn’t he called me, doesn’t he like me anymore, see he’s ignoring me just like the other guys, especially when I’ve let myself go and where we went a bit further, what if I said or did the wrong things, etc.
Feelings are anxious, stressed, shame, disappointment.
Actions checking my phone, doubting myself, overthinking with a result not getting things done, not being myself and not in a fun dating period.
I’ve tried filling in the intentional model, but can’t yet find the right thoughts that will help me shift my feelings. I thought he must also been busy today (but then think gee he could have at least messaged that) and I’m figuring out what this means (but then thinking he should’ve still let me know). I can see these thoughts are unhelpful and that I’m using a manual. Not using a manual seems weird here too, and please help me to see this different, I am open to that. I want to attract a certain man with certain values, like communicating, so not to expect that seems weird. I can now also see that this is something I could say to him and explain what it does to me and request that.
I appreciate your feedback!