I joined for over drinking over 9 months ago for over drinking. When I listen to others being coached (or even my own self with the one playback), it seems clear to me on what to do. I also have epiphanies on my thoughts – such as all I need to do is change a thought…how powerful is that. Yet, then I just “ignore” this and go on autopilot in the moment. I have gotten good at convincing myself not to listen to myself. I guess I have strong neural pathways? So, where do I go from here (yes, I do monthly tutoring)? I have some ideas below.
Brooke said in my coaching call to not drink at all and allow urges. This seems too far of a stretch. My end goal is to drink on plan and in moderation. I really want to enjoy my 1-3 glasses of wine with friends, outings, etc. This seems more doable. Yet, I am just not there (after many months)! She mentioned when I just allow and not drink, then later I won’t have desire. So, does this mean that desire just goes away? It seems unrealistic that the desire just disappears. My concern is that with long term behavior patterns(I have been overdrinking for years), that if I just don’t drink, then when I do later, I won’t be where I want to be and will over indulge. This is what has been happening. However, if I reflect, maybe I haven’t used to tools to the best I can, or I am too scattered. Maybe I should listen to more Overdrinking videos (I am focusing on the monthly ones). I wonder if I have not been really allowing but instead resisting urges. Old Model:
C – Overdrink
T – Can not drink at all!
F – unsettled (also: deprived/denied)
A – Don’t make drink plans, so just drink off plan and then autopilot
R – Overdrink and not on plan
C – Overdrink
T – I have lots of strategies and tools I can use to make a plan and stick to it. I can do a better job of really using those tools (such as really allowing urges, journaling, etc.)
F – Excited to use tools and be on plan! Confident! Emotional Adult!
A – Make a plan and follow it
R – only drink on plan (1-3 glasses)
Any guidance would be GREAT! Am I on the right track?
I also like the bridge thoughts: I am getting to where I don’t want to drink; I want to not want a drink; etc.
Other videos or worksheet ideas would help as well (I just listened to Emotional Adult…really resonates!)