No Longer Going Off Plan

In the past, I have always used going “off of my diet” as a reason to beat my self up. Through listening to Brooke’s podcast and classwork I feel like I have become more loving towards myself when I do go off protocol. However, I can’t seem to stop going off protocol… In the moment I get in this “I don’t care/I’m not losing weight anyways” kind of attitude and I eat off plan. I am finally sitting, writing and modeling when I go off protocol, which is a vast improvement. However, and this is where I have a disconnect in my understanding of where to go with this work next, do I need a more powerful why? Or is this where I name the urge? It’s like I lose sight of my end goal and the moment is so much more gratifying than whatever distant future image I have. It also seems to all happen so fast, and I pop the food in my mouth and it’s over and I’m left to deal with the aftermath. ( I guess that’s the nature of going unconscious). Thanks in advance.