So, my husband ordered a nice present for me that did not come in by Christmas. He put a note under the tree saying basically I love you and your present is coming in the mail later. I was hurt, flabbergasted, astounded that he did not get something for me to open that morning. His mother and our children had lots of presents. He had four things to open from me. He rolled the dice that his order would come in and did not bother getting something else for me to be certain. When he got the news that the present wouldn’t be there, he did not go get me something so that I could have something to open that morning.
C no present under tree
T He doesn’t love me, is lazy is unwilling to put out effort for me, doesn’t care if I feel neglected
F Hurt, angry, fearful, unsupported, unloved,
A Tell him, angry at him, fight
R Feel sad, crying, upset
C no present under tree
T It has to do with him, not me.
Don’t quite believe that one. It feels like a message to me.
T The problem is that I expect presents, not that he didn’t give me one.
Don’t believe that one either. Everyone knows to get something for their wives to open if their present isn’t delivered.
T He is pushing me away.
F There is that old pattern again, that happens because of him and for understandable reasons. Compassion.
A I choose compassion. I choose to not allow it. I choose to be available and loving.
R A closer relationship.
Now, Brooke. What if his behavior is telling me that he doesn’t want to be with me? What if he will continue to neglect me? I can keep thinking positive thoughts and stay with someone who is neglecting me. That’s not right, is it?