No text responses / anxious avoidant attachment

I want to feel empowered in my relationships and that I have control over myself.

I don’t want to feel like the actions of others affect me. It has been affecting me that I get no response from from a man I live with and kiss when I text.

My brother has done this as well and I need to be able to take this actions from others with thoughts that better serve me. I don’t want to think I am doing something wrong. Feeling bad for texting does not serve me. New thoughts I can choose to think but not yet sticking are…

1. I can focus on the quality time in person versus him responding to me in text

2. I can validate that I want to be seen when I text but since I can’t change the other I simply need to accept their new way of communicating with me

3.I can have the serenity that is not something I can change but I can change my excessive texts to feel better

What are other ways to feel better about a man close to you not responding? 

Focus on what I can control.

– Text another friend

– Reconnect with someone in my past FB

– Open a dating app and see what is out there

– Make a list or what you want to talk in person

This is still bothering me a lot. I seem to know what to do but my action or goal is not sticking. I am breaking promises to myself all the time. Such as texting him again with more text that I want and getting no responses. 

What scholars resources are there for this? What emotion or feeling can drive me to be more disciplined in accepting or distracting myself from texting when I probably won’t get a response. When a man gets like this I get more anxious. What’s a better way?! I hate the dance of attachment between the avoidant and the anxious person.