Non-Profits and the Road to Let’s Meet

I am feeling annoyed with the let’s meet and about a meeting we already had and need to talk about it more. Five months later and nothing is done, except for we are going to meet.

In my old ways, I would have picked up the phone, made a call and started doing the work for the non-profit…get out of the way, I know best and can get this done for the organization fast. I get it, their hands are super strapped and they need more resources. But I’ve also acknowledged that I have x amount and x amount of energy in a day, and there are things I’d like to do for myself, then I just can’t do it all.

Before COVID that was me. I gave a lot for two reasons: to help serve where I could because I had the energy and really wanted to impress people around me with doing it all. But after taking a year off and staying home to really impress myself, I noticed that giving with no boundaries was just exhausting. I have this belief that I can do the job better and faster, so I’ll just do it. All to receive external gratification.

But what I have learned is that I feel exhausted when that’s my source of why I do things and it takes from things I want to do. Right now, I am supporting in the way of giving money to Mary and donating where else I can. No need to reciprocate because it’s a neutral exchange of giving. For now this takes a lot of wasted energy out. If I went back to why I joined 4 years ago, it was because I felt self-righteous and like I could really make and impact, I was freshly high off kundalini and I wanted to share it with the world. My take of rubbing off what I have learned is different now, not everyone gets it, and I am not here to rescue everyone from themselves. I am where I need to be at the right place by teaching kundalini in a yoga studio where people who are interested can meet up.

I am also feeling resentful because it’s been four years and I really wanted to be on there for three years, I am glad I spoke up and have given my resignation. In three years I have tried my best, showed up to meetings and gave what I could when I had the skill/knowledge. I intend on giving my best and all in the next nine months. My frustration is that we keep talking about the thing and talking, things move very slow. I have 9 more months to help them get a set of goals accomplished, if I continue to just sit back I may not see this get done and will leave the organization with the lingering thought that I didn’t finish what I said I would.

Unintentional Model
C – Non-Profit Marketing
T – They don’t know what they are doing and moving so slow.
F – Frustrated
A – I set up the guidelines a
– set up to do list
– meeting about meetings with no resolution
– I want to do someone else’s work
R – Marketing goals don’t get done

Intentional Model
C – Non-profit marketing
T – This is part of their learning process, I am only here to guide.
F – Pleased
A – Asked to be cc on emails
– Weekly status check-in
– Answer questions and guide the team
R – 2021 Marketing Goals Completed