I first joined Self Coaching Scholars because I was in a pricey online fitness group that I wanted to leave and was having difficulty making the decision. I learned how I let perfectionism, self-pity/victim mentality and a judgmental attitude cause most of my difficulty. I have since moved on from online fitness and haven’t given up working out. I’m almost 61 years young and feel great most days.
Then I decided I didn’t like my job anymore and was thinking I should retire. I made myself miserable, stressed out and overwhelmed. My daily TDLs were filled with how “they” had too many expectations and how “tired” I was. I buffered for a while and then sought one on one coaching with Pat Beaupre Becker. She helped me identify, feel, and then change my thoughts about my work. I began thinking that I had plenty of time to get everything done, worry is no longer something I do, I’m committed to calm, I can handle whatever comes to me, I no longer indulge in victim mentality and I’m choosing to love my job. My work life turned around because Pat helped me identify new thoughts allowing me to approach each workday with fascination and fun.
A few months later, everything in my life changed. My husband, David received a call from Child Protective Services on February 7, 2018. His son’s ex-girlfriend, Lily, had given birth January 25th to a baby boy, Noah. And Noah was in ICU with a heart condition and drugs in his system. Lily gave birth while incarcerated, serving a 5- year sentence. I have never met Lily, my husband has met her once. CPS was about to place Noah into foster care and asked if we would take him because his parents could not provide a stable environment for him. As you can imagine, our brains totally freaked out and told us we were too old, it would be too hard, we’d already done this child rearing thing and on and on. But in my heart, I knew we needed to step up, so we did.
On February 21, 2018 we brought Noah home from the hospital. We received legal custody in August. And we just celebrated his one-year birthday on January 25. His heart condition is under control with medication and he’ll have surgery to correct it when he is 3 or 4. He is a beautiful, happy, healthy boy and I am totally smitten!
This has been one of the hardest and most rewarding experiences of my life. My thoughts and emotion have been all over the place, especially regarding Noah’s mother. But I have the model and I get to choose how long I want to stay in negative emotion. Some days I just let the drama work its course. I’ve learned to do B- work and that it’s okay. I’m working part time for my wonderful company, making 6 figures and enjoying the adult time I have during my work day. David has “Pops Day Care” while “Nana” works and even though we are exhausted most days, we have been blessed with the most beautiful gift.
I haven’t been able participate on many coaching calls this year but I have kept up with my thought work and stayed with Scholars – now into my third year. Everything in my life is better, especially my relationships with my mother and sisters. I chuckle at myself whenever I catch myself trying to get them to follow my manual for them. It’s quite liberating to let them be who they are.
I’m so grateful to Brooke and Scholars and all the wonderful Coaches. Thank you!