Not acting according to how I feel

Hi! I have determined that most of the time, I do not act according to how I feel. When I do not act according to how I feel, am I jumping models? Why would this be happening? That is, is there a reason for jumping models? Is this resistance? I’m trying to understand this because I’m noticing that I do this with about everything situation in my life, which has created this experience in which it feels like I’m living a very inauthentic or double life.

C: My job
T: Nothing about this job matters to me
F: Dread
C: My job
T: I can’t lose this job
F: Resigned
A: Show up, do the work, get promoted
R: Get more invested in the work

Thank you!