Hiya Brooke,
I started with the Stop Overdrinking Program about 6 months ago and much to my shock and delight, I have stopped drinking. (Now, I had champagne on New Year’s Eve, but I planned for it and that was the last time. Just being honest, here!)
So yesterday I went with a group of friends to the Women’s March in Los Angeles and from the moment we got there at 8AM, all they talked was about how great it will be to have a drink after the march. I was instantly annoyed. And I couldn’t shake it all day. And then we went went to lunch, and indeed the drinking started. And continued. And I got more annoyed. And then I got judgmental of them. I never said anything, but I’m fully aware that my behavior was showing it. And then I got judgmental at myself for being judgmental. That’s a super fun place to be. I wanted to Lyft home but I was concerned that I would look like a killjoy because they were all having such a blast. (sidenote: I see this morning that I should have just done that very thing, because what they think about me is not my business.)
Yesterday at the height of the afternoon, I had this thought, “Oh god! Is this the rest of my life? Being annoyed with people when they are drinking and I’m not?” I’m spinning in a thought loop today about it.
I want to be clear here: I did not want to join in the drinking. I really had no desire, no taste for it. And I’m SUPER happy about that. For sure. But I am wondering if I’ll get more comfortable in these social situations the more I get comfortable with my new reality, if that makes sense. Thanks so much.