Ha, as I was writing the question, I immediately went to the model and asked what thoughts were creating that feeling. Upon deeper inspection, perhaps that isn’t the feeling but the thought and calling it the feeling is keeping me from looking more deeply at the feelings that brings up.

I cried this morning and the thought that brought on the sadness was that ‘I’m not doing it’. No it wasn’t that, but my mind has put the thought away somewhere I can’t retrieve it. To protect me from the thought and ensuing feelings I’m guessing.

I almost stopped the program this week. I’m scared I will fail. While there is one side of me that can look at my life and the extensive list of accomplishments and successes, I don’t often take the time to feel those successes. On the other hand, I regularly revel in the negative feelings of the other thoughts. The ones that insist that I won’t be able to fulfill my vision; that create the feelings of sadness, powerlessness, helplessness, anger, and on and on in a spiral.

How can I start to leverage the resources available through the program to move myself to that place I so want to be?