Not following food protocol pt 3.


I asked myself: If my A line were to create precise protocol, stick to it, and follow through, how would I have to feel and think? I came up with these thoughts and models:

C: Following and recording a precise protocol
T: This is a way that I can practice listening to myself
F: Compassion
A: I listen to myself and what I need, I don’t overcommit on my protocol, I do the best I can to plan with the information I have, and I show up for my past self in the moment when eating, I keep the commitments I make between my past and future self
R: I develop a deeper relationship with myself

C: Following and recording a precise protocol
T: This is a way that I can create intimacy with myself, my body, and my brain
F: Loving
A: I engage two-way conversation between my past, present, and future self, I set my future self up for success, I show up for my past self
R: I heal the connection between myself, my body, and my brain

C: Following and recording a precise protocol
T: This is the chapter of my journey where I drop the idea that this has ever had anything to do with the number on the scale
F: Inspired and Free. Untethered. (This literally give me chills. I’ve gone through my entire weight loss journey obsessed with the scale. I think I won’t be able to lose the last 5lbs until I heal this one last thing – my relationship to the numbers. It’s so clear. It’s time.)
A: I stop weighing myself multiple times per day. I allow any urge to step on the scale more than planned, since I see it is a thought error. I focus on the two-way dialogue between my past and future self. I listen. I ask questions. I show up. I feel gratitude for the struggle I’ve had with food and weight my entire life. I make the relationship with myself the #1 priority in my life. I lose the attachment to the result of getting a certain # on the scale.
R: I drop the idea that this has anything to do with the number on the scale.

This last model feels SO spot on. It is time for me to really embody that this has nothing to do with the number on the scale. The number doesn’t even motivate me anymore. This has to be about healing the relationship with myself. This is the missing piece. I didn’t see it. I see it now. I had no idea to detach from the outcome and it was making me feel so much pressure and fear, which was sabotaging myself. I wasn’t setting my future self up for success, and I wasn’t showing up for my past self. There was a conflict inside me. What if I don’t ever have to live with that conflict again? Feeling so open and so inspired. Like a puzzle piece has clicked into place.

Just sharing. Open to feedback. But in this moment, I am feeling very ready.