Not making progress on weight goal


I’m not making progress on my weight goal after losing about 15lbs. I put my actions in the A line to determine the feelings and thoughts:

C: I want to be 1X8 by Nov 17.
T: This weight is good enough
F: Apathy
A: Not writing out my protocol, deciding what to eat in the moment, sticking mostly to no sugar no flour, weighing myself daily, mostly following my fasting window
R: Weight is maintained between 1X2 and 1X4lbs

Then, I asked myself: Why do I want to get to 1X8? My answer is: “I actually don’t. Maybe 1×0, but 1X8 is too small. The thought that 1X8 is too small makes me feel resistance to taking any more steps to get to that weight.

But then I asked Why do I want to get to 1X8 again, and got:

To prove to myself that I can do the impossible, and
To prove to myself that the model works

Here’s what those models look like:

C: Desire to get to 1X8lbs before Nov 17
T: I want to prove to myself that I can do the impossible
F: FEAR and PRESSURE (I’m scared that if I DON’T hit the goal, that I won’t believe I can do the impossible)
A: I fail ahead of time by doing the actions in my previous model
R: I do not prove to myself that I can do the impossible

AND

C: Desire to get to 1x8lbs by Nov 17
T: I want to prove to myself that the model works
F: FEAR and PRESSURE (because if I try and fail, I will feel like I can’t “trust” the model)
A: I fail ahead of time
R: I don’t prove to myself that the model works

So, I’m thinking that I need to try on some new thoughts or reasons why I want to get to that weight, since these current reasons are creating the feelings of fear and pressure which quite literally do not create the result I want.

I’m going to think about what feeling I would have to have to move forward with my weight goal and re-post, but am looking for feedback on this first part of my exploration of this.

Thank you!