Not meant to be vs. Quitting


What is the difference between quitting on a dream or changing course to a new goal / belief because it’s not working and “not meant to be”….

This is based on a client of mine and I’m stumped because I honestly don’t know! We were talking about beliefs and goals for her future and she said it was important for her to not get too set on her plan and to be flexible since you never know when something “isn’t meant to be”.

She was referring to breaking up with a boyfriend she’s still in love with (he didn’t want kids). “The relationship just wasn’t meant to be” (that thought definitely makes her sad).

She’s always wanted kids, she’s almost 40 and unmarried. The last two long term relationships ended partly bc partners didn’t want to have kids. Now she’s dating and exploring IVF/ parenting solo. She still dreams of having a baby, but she asked when do you give up on a dream if it’s just “not meant to be”. Currently she is trying to keep positive because the thought “having kids is not meant to be” leads her to feeling total despair and in-action.

SO, is “its not meant to be” just a bunch of crap if it makes you feel deflated, un-empowered and sad? If it makes you feel grief but then freedom, then is it a helpful thought? Can you help me coach myself (and my client) about religious beliefs/universal destiny in the context of refusal to quit on a dream?
In the context of fertility, when do you accept you may not have kids and therefore adjust your dream of having kids (biological). Ironically, the stressful thoughts of “trying” to get pregnant usually creates a degree of infertility!

THANK YOU!