Not neutral

My situation seems not neutral. My not yet ex-husband is intentionally trying to harm me (not by his physical hands). He prefers to hire others to harass me, claim things that are mine are not mine.

He knows that I have a lung condition and he has not been careful. A few weeks ago, he brought my children to a movie theater, where I suspect my youngest daughter (not fully vaccinated) contracted it and subsequently passed it on to me. I am now having “brain fog” weeks after.

He is spending a lot of money to try to prevent paying child support, and his lawyers claim things that are not true.

I am struggling to see this along with the ongoing difficulties as neutral. I am having the thought, “I cannot survive him/this.” Feeling defeated. Action: consider moving out of state to escape him – which feels like abandoning my kids, but I have to save me. So, I think either I’m trapped and tortured, or I lose my kids. R: I’m defeating myself?