not sticking to food protocol part 2


As a follow up to my earlier question, I can see that I have models about what it means to hit my goal weight. I haven’t yet, but I’m close, and am sabotaging by putting pressure on myself to achieve the goal weight in order to collect evidence that the model works, and that I can indeed achieve the impossible. I see that I’ve put the cart before the horse – I want evidence so that I can believe, and I’m not getting the evidence because I don’t believe. I see that will not work.

I’ve told myself – When I get to my goal weight, then I can believe the model is working 100% of the time. When I get to my goal weight, then I can believe I can achieve the impossible.

So if I fast forward into the future and ask myself: What will I be thinking when I step on the scale and realize I’ve hit my goal. My future model would be:

C: Scale said 1X8lbs
T: Holy shit, I can truly create ANYTHING.
F: Unstoppable, powerful
A: I’d relax around my goals, I’d be confident that I could do anything, I’d be easy with my thoughtwork, I wouldn’t fore things, I’d lean more into love, I’d TRUST that everything I’m doing is right, I’d TRUST that I am a powerful creator, I’d listen to my intuition, I would stick to my food protocol and plan with ease, I wouldn’t ever force anything ever. I’d allow my brain to relax from trying to figure everything out, and I’d rest easy in knowing that I’m powerful AF, and am basically a magical unicorn (and so is everyone else).
R: I create a life I haven’t even dreamed of

I like that model. But here’s another one:

C: I step on the scale and it does not say 1x8lbs
T: I can’t trust the model is working
F: Constricted, tight (resistance?)
A: I force things. I try really hard, I research a lot, I read books and try to do the “right” thing, I reinforce my belief that I have to “make” things happen, I either double down on weight loss and make protocol stricter, or give up on it altogether. I don’t take risks in my life. I continue to live in fear.
R: I don’t trust the model, I don’t trust myself, I don’t trust the universe or life.

I can see in this second model that I’m using the model against myself, trying to get the model to give me a result I want so I can trust it. That’s kind of the energy I’ve been using to lose 15lbs, but it’s not going to get these last 5 lbs off.

My thoughts are to bridge up from “I can’t trust the model is working” to “Holy sh*t, I really can create anything”.

Is this what you guys would recommend?