Not taking Action/Buffering

I started Scholars one month ago wanting to lose 8 pounds in June. I also have been wanting to quit smoking. I do thought downloads and the model daily, watch the videos and live calls, participate in the weekly coaching session, have written to ask a coach multiple times and started writing a letter from my future self almost daily.
I have not stuck to eating what I have planned. I use food, cigarettes, sodas, busyness, self pity, scrolling through my phone and even LCS materials to buffer, wanting to feel better. I feel almost constant heart palpitations and anxiety. (Cardiologist said heart is fine). I keep beating myself up for buffering and not taking more action towards my health goals. I even think to myself maybe Scholars won’t work for me. I need guidance. Thank you.