Not wanting to want it!


Hi Brooke,
I actually found you when one of your ads popped up on my Facebook, on how to stop over drinking. At the time, I had already stopped drinking for about 6 months, but I’m a self help junkie and started following you. I love all of your teachings and have an interest in possibly taking your coaching course, but since I’ve stopped drinking, my entire life has changed and I’m still doing a lot of work on myself. I decided to commit to the self coaching scholars to continue working on myself, before I make such a big financial commitment. (I’ve taken two health coaching certifications in the past, that were pretty awful, and of course, I’ve done nothing with them. However, I realize that the course taking was also part of my buffering, which I’ll save for another ask brook.) So here’s my question about not wanting to want it. I too, had a love affair with my chardonnay. I’m alcohol free now for 16 months. It definitely was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done, but also the most empowering. I’ve listened to most of your over drinking videos and am now listening to your overeating videos because you talk a lot about desire in both. However, whenever you talk about having given up your chardonnay, you always say that you don’t want it anymore. I totally understand your concept on desire and agree with it. (the deprivation thing doesn’t work in the long run) The way I actually stopped, was starting with dry January and acting from a place of curiosity, to see what I would feel like without it for 30 days. I’m a 58 year old in great shape, I play tennis, dance, do pilates, yoga and spin, and I love to eat incredibly healthy. My chardonnay was a huge part of my life and never really aligned with my healthy lifestyle, but I found a way to completely justify it. I still can’t believe I don’t drink anymore. Anyway, it’s been 16 months, and when I stopped, I shifted my thoughts to, “no more shit and shame”. No more waking up feeling like shit and no more wondering what I might have said to someone that I might be ashamed of. This worked pretty well for me, but it never completely has taken away the desire. The one thing I did learn from your videos, was understanding what it actually was that I was desiring, and it was definitely the high. Checking out and numbing out. I loved it. Even though I loved it so much, I’m totally committed to a life without alcohol. I’m not worried that I’m going to drink, but I hate that whenever I’m out in a restaurant or at a party, I still get a few minute twinge of missing out. I WANT IT TO COMPLETELY GO AWAY!!! It has diminished quite a bit, but it’s still there. How did you completely rid it from your mindset?