Nothing time

C: nothing time on the schedule for one hour
T: I feel like I don’t even know what my interests are anymore
F: lost
A: sulk, lay in bed, do nothing
R: I don’t like my reason for doing nothing

C: nothing time on the schedule for one hour
T: I can’t mess this up
F: free
A: do whatever comes to mind
R: ?

I like my IM because it’s like I’m taking the pressure off to “really enjoy” my nothing time or to be “really productive” with my hobbies during nothing time. I’ve recently found that since I have almost completely stopped buffering with all the things, I don’t really know what I want to do. Before, when I would buffer from my emotions, I’d think “man I wish I’d spend more time doing what I actually want to do like read or paint instead of buffering with TV”. Now that I’m not buffering with TV, social media, or food I don’t have a strong desire to pick up my book or to paint, even though I have an entire hour to where I could do anything or nothing. My guess is this is the river of misery between the quick hit of false pleasures and the joy of true pleasures.