I am trying to understand the model when I have a sentence starting with “I should…” or “I shouldn’t…”. (eg I shouldn’t eat that, I should be gardening, I should be tidying up, I shouldn’t ignore my alarm etc etc). It seems like when I have these thoughts I am thinking I am a bad person – is the result of these sentences always self judgment? I struggle with the result line when I have these thoughts. Am I judging myself, am I not managing my mind (ie believing my thoughts), not having my own back (if I don’t reply can I still love myself anyway?). I can’t seem to get any clarity on this. I would love there to be a generic ‘Result’ I could use to stop me indulging in confusion over this and speed up my awareness in the moment.

For example,
Unintentional Model (1)
C: Last week I was included in a family/siblings whatsapp group
T: I should be posting messages
F: Obligated
A: Inaction – I don’t post any messages, I don’t read existing messages, ruminate, discuss with my husband without coming to any conclusion or outward action, Action – mute the group
R: ?

Unintentional Model (2)
C: I have the thought “I should post a message on family whatsapp”
T: I’m a bad daughter/sibling because I haven’t posted anything yet.
F: Self-judgmental
A: As above
R: ?

Intentional Model
C: Last week I was included in a family/siblings whatsapp group
T: I love myself whether I send a message or not
F: Self-honoring
A: Sometimes send a message, sometimes not, don’t endlessly discuss with husband, read new messages, unmute the group
R: ?

Thank you!