Noticing urges

Hi, I’m still new to the overeating work and yesterday I did the first lesson in stop overeating. The metaphor of letting the toddler throw a full-blown tantrum was awesome. But I’m finding that I have trouble identifying my urges.

Here’s the most recent example: I went to get myself a salad and my daughters got bagels. I LOVE bagels. They smelled amazing. I had a fleeting thought, “I wish I was getting a bagel. I will be back on my birthday.” But I don’t feel like that was really an urge. It feels like whenever I think an urge is coming on, just turning my attention to it (“oh is this an urge?!”) makes it disappear. I really don’t feel like I’m processing anything. I’m sure I’m not supposed to sit there MAKING myself want something more than I already do… Has my protocol just not been challenging enough yet? WAIT–Or maybe I’m giving in. I wanted the bagel, got the salad that was on my plan, but they didn’t have almond milk so I got whole milk in my iced coffee (eating plan said almond milk or cream). I compromised in my head by saying I wasn’t having sweetener… maybe this was me just giving into an urge and since I “won” the bagel one I didn’t notice it? So I’m not feeling urges because I’m just giving the toddler a candy bar? Also… I want beads in that jar and my brain keeps telling me none of these situations qualifies for a bead.

I’ve definitely seen myself reacting–yesterday I got really upset with one of my kids at the end of the day and did NOT process the urge to yell…. I just did. In my last question the coach suggested that since I lost it with food at the end of the day, perhaps I hadn’t been processing urges during the day. I think that’s true and probably was the case again yesterday, but I’m still missing something. It just feels like as soon as I turn my attention to an urge it slips away.

Thanks for your coaching!