OBSTACLE TO MY COMMITMENT (2)


Perhaps at one time, both you and your husband had the same thoughts about smoking.
Now you may have different thoughts about smoking, and that’s ok.
What would your experience be like if you let him have his thoughts, and you have different thoughts?

I did it with food
It was amazing
One day, I decided I don’t want to eat like him anymore, it’s my body, I freed myself from him. I found my power and decided that I will only eat when I am hungry, because I found more fun in freedom of doing what I want than in consuming food even though I don’t want, just to be with him.

It’s fun to be free.
It’s fun to enjoy dancing, singing, feeling my power

I ran some models about my thoughts about cigarette to know what am I using cigarette for, and I would like to have your point of view.

In my point of view:
I am using cigarette to hate myself, whereas I am working on myself to increase my self love.
I fail ahead of time.
I am avoiding discomfort of stopping smoking.
I am making my thoughts so automatic that they are becoming facts in my life.
I am not taking responsibility on my life and making my husband responsible for my choices.

I WANT TO LOVE MYSELF MORE THAN ANYTHING
And now, I feel compassion for myself right where I am, I mean, I excuse myself and I am aware of my behaviour.

C: Smoking
T: I am too weak in front of a cigarette
F: Defeated
A: Smoke without negotiating
R: Weak and smoker

C: Smoking
T: I have a real problem with cigarette, can’t stop it
F: Defeated
A: Smoke without thinking
R: Smoker and fail ahead of time

C: Smoking
T: I just want to stop but don’t respect my word to myself
F: Hate
A: Smoke, mean to myself, tell to my husband it’s his fault because he keeps smoking
R: Smoker and less self love

C: smoking
T: I am fed up with my behaviour
F: Self hatred
A: Smoke, mean to myself, mean to my husband
R: Smoke and hate myself

C: Smoking
T: Do it one more time
F: Defeated
A: Smoke, mean to myself
R: Smoke and guilt

Thank you